[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
and wounds,
papercuts sinking deep into
finger fissures
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.

dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips

and my words are injustice
to the death of
your poetry.

this is me
drowning,
trying to be
you

trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion

it's also
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).

You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....

With This RingWith this ring,

I swear to keep myself pure.

To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,

To the one whom God has chosen for me.

With this ring,

I swear to avoid the temptations

That may lead me astray

And defile me.

With this ring

I swear to not only keep my body pure,

But to keep pure my mind.

To not think perverted thoughts,

To not corrupt myself from within.

With this ring,

I swear that all of what I am will be pure

For he who is to be my husband.

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You have a friend in me?

by *goddess-of-the-moon1, Jan 29, 2013, 3:01:03 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Browsing through new photos
appearing on my screen
I see both our frozen faces
smiling back with glee

The memories start flooding back
ones I thought were once repressed
I didn't expect these reminders
of the not so distant past.

I sit behind this screen
wiping hot tears from my eyes
I try to tell myself
"I'm too big to cry"

You hurt me very deeply
Like no friend ever should
Don't you remember saying
"I'll be there for you"?

It wasn't so long ago
that when i called you friend
I really truly thought
you'd be there 'till the end

My eyes are blurry now
It's very hard to breathe
but It rather kind of funny
that you'll never see

You don't know that you've hurt me
You think everything is fine.
You don't seem to realize
that you've crossed a major line.

You chose some one else
and that would've been okay
but you never told me
and that began decay.

I found out on my own,
In front of your other friends
When You introduced her
your new right hand man.

That isn't really the issue
I know all friends grow apart
but when you just ignored me
I completely fell apart.

Others looked on,
pity in their sight and said it wasn't right
i mustered up a smile
and pretended i was alright

That day you stood in glory
Flaunting her like some prize
If you thought I was worthless
Why'd we ever act like friends?

I'd never come and face you,
and tell you that I am hurt
you publicly embarrassed me
and I can't say what's worse.

So I'll just sit right here
and hole up in myself
I know right now I have no true friends
except the one inside my self

Over the next few months
We'll smile as we play
but slowly I'll draw inside myself
because I'm counting every day.

It won't be long I tell myself
Until I'm far from you.
I anxiously await until
my path diverges from you

Our smiling faces still stare back glowing on the screen.
We would've had a future if you hadn't been so mean.
Some will say I'm taking this too hard
but you can't be best friends nine years
and then suddenly nothing at all.

You have a friend in me?by *goddess-of-the-moon1

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

this was written about some one who was once my best friend.
i was on facebook and a picture of she and i popped up from her bridal shower in may of last year.
A little back story:
She and I had been friends since i had moved to the school district my 8th grade year in middle school. we instantly became friends and everything was great. we shared the same classes all through high school as well and even went to trade school junior/senior year for the same medical program, became nurse's aides, worked together and then went on to nursing school together. well we had a pact that who ever got married first would have the other as her maid of honor and then we would switch. Well the day came when last year in june she got married. she asked me to be her moh. and of course i accepted well anyway i get my dress but she kept refusing any attempts i'd make to throw her a shower or bachelorette party or engagement party but ok fine i understand and fast forward to may, her bridal shower i find out as she announces the other bridesmaids to the group that another girl is maid of honor, and that i'm just a brides maid but she told me i'd be 2nd in line and we'd share the duties. okay i'm a little upset but okay i understand, but come her wedding day she treated me like i didn't exist, and just hovered around with her new moh. put me all the way in the back of the bridal party line up, took away any special things i had such as my toast etc, and what was really horrible is she humiliated me in front of my fiance and my male best friend who was paired with me in the bridal party. they both we upset on my behalf and even her sister said it wasn't right how i was treated but i just tried to save face and act like i wasn't hurt

Now before all this happened i got engaged and i asked her to be my moh. I struggled for many months on whether to remove her from my wedding completely or just strip her of her title. well i decided again to be the bigger person and do the later, but i'll be severing ties with her after my wedding in just over 5 months. I'm sad it's come to this, but i don't think i can forgive her publicly humiliating me the way she did. If she would have just been honest with me i wouldve understood.

~FanaticalPublishing Jan 29, 2013

I like your work and would love to publish it in my magazine; if that's something you might be interested in, check it out: [link]

*goddess-of-the-moon1 Jan 29, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

this sounds like a great idea thank you.
You're free to use anything in my gallery you feel you'd like to use

~FanaticalPublishing Feb 1, 2013

Thank you, but I have a very strict rule that I don't go into people's galleries and pick out works to publish: you pick out whatever you want, you format it however you want, you add whatever cover letter you want, and you send it to me. The idea is for the writer(you) to keep control of your work, because that's important: there are a lot of unscrupulous people out there.

~Stuffystuffstuff2 Jan 29, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

D': s-stop it! you're killing me... ;-; so beautiful. I've been feeling this way as well but not exactly the same... I feel sorry for you. Hope things get better.

*goddess-of-the-moon1 Jan 29, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

aww i'm sorry D: I didn't mean to make you sad too
I feel better today Promise!
It's just sad that a lot of people today only think of themselves and treat others like they're meaningless...

~Stuffystuffstuff2 Jan 30, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Yea... It's okay! I totally understand. =_= it's sad that some people do that.

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